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Pathos and Poignancy in the Press

In Kirksville, MO, wherefrom I hail, it is a known fact that one does not misbehave in periods when the police are likely to be bored (that is, when the college students are out of town on break). Two of my friends were illegally searched by ennui-ridden fuzz for looking at the stars on a country road, and other friends were expelled from a gazebo for misty reasons probably rooted in the absence of true-crime stories taking place in the Ville.

I made the mistake of reading a Breitbart "OMG-It's-So-Cold" story today, and was confronted by the following tidbit:
"It's so cold, it feels like needles are pricking my eyes," grumbled 19-year-old Ashley Sarpong of Chicago, a fur-lined hood pulled around her face Sunday. "This is the coldest I've felt all year."

With respect and props to Ashley S for her pithy simile, it seems that the press is suffering from bored-police syndrome.
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